


The Booth in the Back

by peter_parkour (sneks_stories_2)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - Fandom, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bi, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool being Deadpool, Fluff, Fluffy, Gay, Gen, M/M, Marvel Universe, No Smut, Pan - Freeform, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is a Little Shit, a bit of angst, all fluff, but happy ending, golden girls marathon, just fluff, peter's a waiter, retro diner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 00:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneks_stories_2/pseuds/peter_parkour
Summary: In which Wade decides to go to a local diner instead of Starbucks for his morning coffee, and makes a new friend.





	The Booth in the Back

Wade had no idea why he didn't go to the Starbucks right next door to his apartment building. For some reason, he'd decided to turn the other way and walk two blocks to the local diner that he had walked past too many times before.

Maybe it was the too few customers that a quaint place like that should have. Wade always noticed that when he looked through the windows. Or maybe it was the _very_ enticing smell of apple pie and homemade vanilla ice cream. Or maybe Wade was looking for something other than coffee. Something other than food. But he went that chilly, chilly November morning.

A bell tinkled brightly as he nudged open the door, finding a heated sanctuary. It was dimly lit, black and white checkered tiles covering the floor. Red booths with black edges lined the walls, and small black tables were scattered about the rest of the cozy diner.

"Hi! You can sit wherever you like, and someone'll be with you in a sec!" A cheerful woman's voice called to him from behind the counter.

Wade nodded thanks but realized that the person who the voice belonged to was turned away from him.

"Thanks," He said, his voice gravelly from lack of use.

Glancing around, there were only two booths and a table occupied. One by an elderly man with tinted glasses and a white mustache who was nursing a coffee in the booth closest to the door. He was vaguely familiar, but Wade couldn't place from where. He offered a smile which was returned by the older gentleman.

"Good things happen in places like these, young man," The man spoke, his voice shaking ever so slightly in his age.

Wade just nodded and offered another smile. Turning away, he scanned the other two taken tables. The small table held a couple — high school, by the looks of them — who were too lost in each other to notice the bulky man, his face hidden in the shadows of his hood.

The final booth didn't have a person in it, but it was definitely occupied. Placed at the very back closest to the kitchen doors, it sat right next to a retro jukebox. There was an old laptop computer looking like it was barely being held together with duct tape was asleep. Scattered around the computer were notebooks and loose pieces of paper. As Wade moved closer to see what the papers said, a young man stumbled out of the kitchen doors and fell into the opposite seat, pressing the spacebar to wake up his computer.

Dark circles that resembled bruises ringed brown doe eyes. The coffee-colored curls that were piled on his head, an undercut keeping the sides short, were visibly greasy, as though he hadn't showered in quite a while. Underneath the black apron and red t-shirt of the diner's uniform, Wade could see lean muscles tensed.

Wade scoffed at himself, asking why he was doing this, but pulled his hood lower anyway and sat down across from him. He went unnoticed by the young worker for a moment, his brown eyes scanning the computer screen while his fingers flew across the keys.

Wade cleared his throat pointedly. The young man started and flicked his eyes up to Wade across the table before going back to typing away.

"Whatcha workin' on?" Wade asked.

"Biochem essay." The man's voice was tired but as smooth and rich as quality hot cocoa.

"I didn't realize that any of the local high schools had biochemistry classes," Wade replied.

"They don't." The other replied sharply. "I'm a college student. ESU. Now, are you going to keep bothering me, or can I get some quiet to finish this essay that's due later today?"

"Well, I'm not just here for some eye candy, though you certainly make coming here instead of going to Starbucks a treat." The corner of Wade's lips quirked under his hood. "And aren't you a waiter? I'm a paying customer."

"Yes, well, I'm currently on break, which is the time that I get when I can work and don't have to deal with creeps like you." The waiter was glaring at him now, his chin resting on his palm.

Wade held up his black-leather-clad hands in surrender and raised nonexistent eyebrows. "You just looked like you could use some company. Doesn't seem like you get much social interaction aside from asking people what their orders are, and judging on how empty I see this place, that isn't very often. So, can I at least get your name?"

The young genius stared at Wade for a moment before sighing and saying, "You're smooth, I'll give you that. And I'll also admit that your powers of deduction are a bit insulting, despite being mostly true. But I digress. My name's Peter. Peter Parker."

"A cute name for a cute boy." Wade winked, despite Peter not being able to see it very well.

"Are you going to tell me your name, or am I just going to call you 'Random Shady Creep from my Tuesday Morning Shift'?" Peter deadpanned.

"While that is _quite_ the title, I have a shorter one that's a bit easier to remember," Wade said.

"What, you're saying that 'Random Shady Creep that-that...uh..." Peter trailed off.

"Case in point."

"Okay, fuck you. Are you going to share this shorter-easier-to-remember-title, or am I going to have to guess?"

"While guessing games are fun, I admit; I'll spare you the suffering of guessing my name." Wade held out his hand. "Wade Winston Wilson. Pleasure."

Peter shook his hand with a firm grip. "The pleasure is all yours, I'm sure."

"Y'know, that hurts, baby boy," Wade pouted in the shadow of his hood. "You lower my already impossibly low self-esteem."

Peter raised one eyebrow. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could make a sound, a man behind the counter barked, "Parker! I'm not paying you to flirt with the customers! That's a stripper's job! Either take his order and get your ass in the kitchen, or get outta here!"

"He always threatens to fire me, but hey, I've been here for six months now, haven't I? I suspect Judy always gets him to keep me, 'cause I'm such a good worker." Peter muttered to Wade. "Not that I wouldn't make a bad stripper." Louder, he added, "One minute, Clark! I have seven words left to write on this essay!"

Clark grunted and turned away. Peter typed said seven words and then shut his computer as he stood up. He pulled a pink-and-white order pad and a pen from his pocket and poised his hand to write.

In a sickly-sweet voice and a matching smile plastered on his face, Peter chirped, "Can I take your order?"

Wade, the master of snark second only to his beloved Spider-Man, said immediately, "I dunno, _can_ you?"

Peter sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "Alright, Wade. I'll let that pass this one time. _May_ I take your order?"

"Why you certainly can, cutie. Strawberry milkshake, Strawberries & Cream™ waffles, and a large Swiss mocha. I did come here to get my caffeine fix, after all. Might as well get breakfast while I'm at it."

"Will that be all, sir?" Peter said, his fake smile and cheery waiter voice back.

"Oooh, 'sir' seems kinda kinky!" Wade chirped. "Smooth, aren't you, baby boy? However, you're gonna have to take me on _at least_ three dates first. _Then_ we can get to the sexy funtimes."

With an amused huff and another eye roll, Peter walked off to the kitchen. Wade watched Peter's plush rump saunter off, whistling loudly as it disappeared behind the metal double doors of the kitchen. A raised hand flipping him off was the response Wade saw through the circular windows.

A giddy smile erupted on Wade's face at that.

**\- v -**

Peter arrived a few moments later, a large black tray miraculously balanced on slender fingertips. Breakfast scents wafted up into Wade's nostrils as Peter set coffee and a stack of waffles in front of him. The milkshake was set off to the side because no sane person would drink that before digging into the waffles, heavily laden in whipped cream, strawberries, butter, and syrup.

An inhuman moan slipped from Wade's lips with his first bite of fluffy waffle. He heard a snort, and with a glance up, Wade saw that Peter had sat back down across from him and had "organized" his papers and set the binder they had been shoved into on top of his computer.

"Holy shit," Wade said after a few more bites. "Did you make these from scratch?"

Peter seemed surprised at the question. "Er, yeah, I did. My aunt taught me how to make them years ago."

"Well, tell your aunt that I think they're fucking fantastic. 'It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!' " Wade replied, stuffing as much waffle into his face as his large mouth would allow.

" _Despicable Me_? Really?"

"It is a very relatable movie."

"Oh, great. Please don't tell me that you're a supervillain who adopted three daughters to pull off some evil scheme to shrink and steal the moon." Peter said, sounding as though this happened to him every day.

"Well, what would you do if I said I was?" Wade inquired mischievously.

"Then I would have to put you on my boss's 'Suspicious' list."

Wade gasped, his hands coming up to his cheeks. "Petey! You didn't tell me this was a joint for superheroes!"

"It's not. I'm talking about my other boss, Tony. I work part-time in the labs and as Mr. Stark's personal intern at SI." Peter explained, almost sheepishly.

"Exciting," Wade said, then gasped again. "Does that mean you know Spider-Man?!"

Peter's eyes widened and he tensed up ever-so-slightly. "I-I mean, yeah, I've met the guy a couple of times. Meeting the Avengers kinda comes with being Tony Stark's assistant. It's, er, really great how he just does local gigs and stuff, mostly looks out for the little guys and all the jazz."

"I know, right?!" Wade said brightly. "Spidey's my hero. And that ass, am I right? What I would do to tap that." Wade sighed dreamily.

Peter coughed, a flush rising on his cheeks. "I, uh, sure."

"OMG, I'm so sorry! Are you not into guys? Am I making you uncomfortable? I'm pansexual, so I don't care, but I just started talking and—"

"Nono, It's not that!" Peter exclaimed quickly, cutting off Wade. "I'm actually bi, myself, but it's just kind of weird..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, I get it." Wade looked sheepish. "Still, sorry."

" 'S'fine," Peter mumbled, not making eye contact.

Wade took a sip of milkshake in attempt to ignore the awkward silence that ensued. Glancing around in hopes to change the subject, wade made eye contact with the old man by the door again, who gave him two thumbs up and a cheeky smile.

"Hey, Pete," Wade said, pulling his eyes to the man across from him. "Who's that older gentleman by the door? He's familiar, but I don't know what from."

"Him? Oh, that's Stan. He's here every day. According to Judy, he's been coming here since when _Judy's_ mother ran this place. I think he makes comics or something. Fun to talk to, though. Kind, wise, and snarky. Just the type of old man I aspire to be."

"Huh. Interesting."

A comfortable silence settled between them now, Peter writing a few things down in a notebook, Wade finishing his milkshake and the rest of his breakfast.

As if rehearsed, the two moved to stand up a few moments later. Peter gathered his binder — which Wade now noticed was Spider-Man themed — and Wade left a wad of cash on the table to pay for his food.

"Thanks for, y'know, keeping me company. And making my breakfast." Wade said almost shyly as they both walked towards the door.

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but again, Clark interrupted. "Parker, don't you dare forget to clock out again!"

His warm, brown doe eyes widened. "Shit." Papers flying around him, Peter scurried to the kitchen. Wade stepped out of the door, it's bell jingling merrily with the movement.

When the college student stumbled out of the door, his head swiveled frantically like he was searching for something. Realizing that he was looking for him, Wade stepped away from the wall he was blending into. Finally sighting Wade, Peter relaxed slightly.

"I thought you'd walked off," Peter said when the bulky, scarred man got close.

"I couldn't leave my new best friend without saying goodbye," Wade responded with a smile.

"Best friend, huh? Sorry, Wade, but you're gonna have to take me out to lunch before you can earn that title."

"Then it will be my pleasure to ask you to meet me here next time you have a shift, and I'll buy you food?" Wade asked hopefully.

"How will you know when my next shift will be?" Peter quirked an eyebrow with the question.

"Do you have a Sharpie®?" Wade retorted.

"Always." Peter fished a blue one out of his back pocket.

Uncapping the marker with his mouth — Peter wrinkled his nose adorably — Wade scribbled his number on the back of Peter's hand.

"Text me your schedule, baby boy!" Wade said over his shoulder with a wave as he recapped Peter's Sharpie®, placing it in his pocket as he jogged back home.

"Wha- hey! I need that Sharpie®, Wade!" Wade heard Peter yell after his retreating figure. Wade simply held a hand up and fingerspelled _'Text me!'_ , hoping that Peter at least knew the alphabet in ASL.

"Yeah, I will!"

**\- v -**

Wade was happily drawing in his pocket sketchbook swinging his legs back and forth on the edge of a skyscraper. A smile slunk across his features as he heard the light _thud_ and a few padding footsteps behind him.

"Hi, Spidey!" Wade said.

"What's gotten you so chipper this evening? Wait, or is it morning? One sec. Karen, what time is it?" Spider-Man asked himself.

Even though Wade knew that he was just talking to the AI in his suit, it was small comfort for his friend to seem like he was talking to his own mental voices.

"Yeah, morning." He concluded. He sat down next to Wade. "So, Deadpool, whatcha drawing?"

Deadpool pulled away from Spider-Man's outstretched hand, waggling a finger in his face. "Oh, no, Webs. You've been demoted. Only those with Best Friend status or higher get sketchbook access."

Spidey gasped, a hand pressing against his chest in mock hurt. "Demoted?! Who has usurped my prized position?"

"A young fellow by the name of Peter Parker. Y'know Judy's Diner down on 11th? Wade began. "Well, I went there instead of Starbucks and I made a friend. He's a _waiter_ , with the most _gorgeous_ chocolate brown doe eyes, and curls piled on top of his head but shorter on the sides. _And_ , he's got an ass to rival yours! I gave him my number so that he could text me his work schedule so that I can buy him lunch next time he works! Only then can I achieve the Best Friend title from him. So he said."

"I see," Spider-Man said coolly.

Deadpool turned to the vigilante, mask eyes opened wide in concern. "I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings?"

Spider-Man let out a chuckle. "No, 'Pool. It's fine. Although it does hurt a bit to learn that I...Peter is now best friend despite it taking me a very long time to get that title from you."

Wade wrapped an arm bulging with muscles around Spider-Man's smaller shoulders, laying his head down. "What can I say, Webs?" He sighed. "Pete's a charismatic fellow. Which reminds me!" Deadpool suddenly straightened up. "He works for Shiny Iron Ass, just like you! He told me! And apparently you two know each other??"

"Oh, uh, yeah. We've met a couple of times. He did some work on my suit, since he's a biochemistry major and also does stuff with robotics. Science, I guess. Mr. Stark really likes him, too. I think."

"That's cute. You both complimented each other. Coworker friendships are adorable. _However_ , not as cute as coworker relationships. Now that's some cuteness I can totally ship."

"You're an odd one, DP, I'll give you that," Spider-Man said after a moment.

"Why thank you! I'd say you're an odd one too, but you're so much greater than I am. So, you're not odd!"

Spider-Man laughed softly. "C'mon, 'Pool. Let's go get some bad guys, okay?"

Replying equally as soft, "Alright, Webs, let's — Oh, _motherfucker!_ " Deadpool exclaimed suddenly.

Deadpool coughed, blood spraying through his mask. He fell forward off the building, but with his lightning-fast reflexes, Spider-Man cartwheeled off of the building, holding onto the wall with one hand, and shot a web at the rapidly dropping mercenary. He winced a the sharp _snap!_ that resounded when he pulled upwards, but Deadpool landed back on the roof — albeit roughly — and he would be relatively okay with his healing factor.

Climbing back on top of the building, the local hero was greeted by the sight of a green-and-gold clad figure.

"Oh, great," He muttered. "Loki, what are you doing here? And why are you stabbing my friend?" Spider-Man asked.

"I am merely bored. Also, how do you Midgardians say it, you two need to 'get a room.' Watching you make moon eyes at each other has grown uninteresting since neither of you is choosing to make a move." Loki stated.

Spider-Man flushed behind his maks, spluttering incoherent denials.

"I shall be watching you two closely. Goodbye, young Peter Parkerson." Loki gave a slight quirk of his lips, like the memory of a smile.

"Dude! Shh! Wade doesn't know who I am, and I'd like to keep it that way!"

The god of mischief let out a low chuckle. "You two are closer than you think." And with a wink, he was gone.

A loud groan erupted from where Deadpool was lying flat on his face, Loki's knife sticking straight out of his back. Spider-Man rushed over and yanked the gilded dagger out.

"Shitbiscuits!" The Merc with a Mouth yelled. "Give a guy a bit of warning next time!"

Wade pushed himself up with a grunt and pulled a leg up in a sitting position. "You'd think that you'd get used to being stabbed in the back, and having your neck snapped after so many times, but _nope!_ Still hurts like a broken heart!"

"Well, _that's_ a dramatic simile," Spider-Man said, amused.

"Okay, we gonna go fight bad guys like we said before I was so rudely stabbed?" Wade asked.

Spider-Man sighed and shook his head. "I think I'm gonna go home. I got work tomorrow."

"Stark?"

"No, a different job."

"Oh, okay! Have fun, Spidey!"

"See you, DP."

Wade waved cheerfully as his superhero idol swung off.

[You could follow him. Find out who he is.]

"Now, Yellow, why would I do that? Spidey is very particular about keeping his identity secret, and I don't want to break his trust."

[But he's probably adorable under that mask!]

"No."

[Fiiiiiine.]

Sighing heavily, Wade walked over to the fire escape and started to climb down, heading for his apartment.

He stared longing longly at the darkened window of Judy's for a moment before shaking his head and pressing forward.

**\- v -**

The next morning, Wade's phone buzzed on his bedside table. Bleary eyes and tired mind barely registered the text from an unknown number.

_W- 7:30-12_ __  
_Th- 7:30-12_ __  
_F- 4-10_ _  
_ _Sn- 4-10_

And then a minute later,

_You owe your Best Friend food, Creep._

Wade smiled at the simple message. Despite no name being given, he knew who it was. No one else would've been texting him, anyways. Except maybe Weasel, but he only texted Wade with job information.

He made a contact for Peter before replying with:

_See you soon, baby boy ;)_

Wade set his phone back on the bedside table and rolled out of bed with a groan. He shrugged on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, along with a sweatshirt.

Then he found himself walking down the crowded street at 7:45 on a Wednesday, ignoring the stares that always followed when he went out in public.

A deep breath before pushing the door open. Silence except for the soft sizzling of bacon in the kitchen. Shuffling steps to the booth shared with Peter the day before. Silence was never a good thing. It allowed the voices to chatter.

[What are you doing here?]

[Why would he actually want to spend time with you?]

{You're just a crude, clinically insane, depressed asshole.}

[No one actually wants you.]

{Remember what happened with 'Ness?}

[She's gone now. Because of you.]

{You're good for nothing but killing.}

"Shut up," Wade muttered.

{You're annoying.}

[Ugly.]

{Disgusting.}

[Repulsive.]

{He's faking liking you.}

[He never liked you in the first place.]

{After all, who would?}

" _SHUT UP!_ " Wade yelled, slamming his hands on the table, standing up.

Panting, labored breaths.

A soft voice next to him, "...Wade?"

Wade's head snapped to Peter. Two soft steps forward, neither of them breaking eye contact. Wade didn't even realize that Peter had reached up until his fingertips brushed the tear tracks running through Wade's mottled face and he flinched away heavily.

"Are you okay?" Peter breathed, retracting his hand.

Wade let out a dark chuckle. "No."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Wade shook his head. "No."

He turned away and fell onto the red plastic cushion of the booth. Wade roughly wiped his face with the palm of his hand and sniffled.

Wade heard Peter sit down across from him, but didn't move except to tilt his head up just enough to see Peter below the edge of his hood. Peter was fidgeting, rocking from side to side, almost. His overstuffed Spider-Man binder was set by the napkin dispenser against the wall.

"Good sex, huh?" Wade asked after watching Peter for a moment.

The young waiter's head snapped up at the sound, and when Wade's words registered, his face flushed brightly. "I-no, he-we-I don't-I don't have anyone. That-That I'm involved with. Romantically."

"Oh, so you have a Sugar Daddy? Who is he so I can beat his ass?" Wade's bright blue eyes were sparkling now, the innuendos bringing his mood up slightly.

"What? No!! I'd-I'd never let anyone do that to me!" Peter denied.

"Do which? Be your Sugar Daddy; letting someone spoil you in return for pleasure, or being fucked by a dude?" Wade leaned forward, letting his chin rest on his palm.

"I-I don't like people giving me things I don't deserve..." Peter mumbled.

"Oh, baby boy! If you were mine, I'd spoil that perky ass of yours rotten!" Wade grinned.

Peter pursed his lips, but instead of looking mad, he just looked rather adorable with his face bright red.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Peter's lips, making Wade realize that he had spoken aloud. Wade just grinned.

"Well, Cutie Booty, I do believe I'm buying you food. What meal is this for you? Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Afternoon tea? What do you like and what do you dislike? I don't wanna order you anything you don't wanna eat. Coffee? Tea? Juice?" Wade asked his questions rapid-fire, all traces of his outburst vanished.

"Um...I-I don't really have an opinion, I'll really eat anything. And as much as I don't like accepting things from others, I'm a broke college student, so I will never say no to free food." Peter replied, his face slowly returning to its normal sleep-deprived pallor.

"Great! Judy, honey, can we get our order taken, please?" Wade called to Judy behind the counter.

"Yes, indeed I can, especially when you ask so nicely!" Judy called back with a smile.

Judy was at their booth the next moment, poised to write what was sure to be a large order.

"Okay, so I'm gonna order half a dozen chocolate chip pancakes, 6 blueberry pancakes, a dozen of your Strawberries & Cream™ waffles because I adored those yesterday, hmm...Orange and apple juice, two cups of coffee — you want cream and sugar, Pete? — yes, that, and an entire apple pie. You got anything else, Petey-Pie?" Wade listed, counting off on his fingers.

"Two cinnamon rolls?" Peter said, but it was really more of a question.

"Oh, of course!" Wade clapped his hands in excitement. "Got that, Miss Judy-Beauty?"

"I did indeed, sir," Judy replied with a smile.

"Please, call me Wade."

"Will do, Wade. I'll be back in a bit. Mr. Parker, could you come and help me?" Judy asked sweetly.

"Always, Miss Judy. I mean, I'm on the clock anyways." Peter said.

"Oh, Peter, can I have bacon and sausage links too? And biscuits and gravy!" Wade called as they walked into the kitchen.

"Yes, Wade," Peter responded just before the door swung closed.

Wade waited happily for his food.

{Wade, can you actually eat all of this?}

"Probably! Put Petey-Pie's gonna be helping me, too. And I have a feeling that he can inhale almost as much, if not more food than I can." Wade said.

{Fine, but it'll be your own fault when you feel like shit from eating too much food after this.}

"White, we both know that I could eat all of this and more _and_ still have room to spare," Wade said with a roll of his eyes.

[Does 'and more' include Peter's and/or Spidey's ass?]

"Oh, I dearly wish, Yellow, but we're not quite there yet. We still need to take our baby boy on at least two more dates before we can do that!" Wade berated.

[Fiiine. But ooh I can't wait to take a bite outta that juicy ass.]

"Me too, but this is also a fluff one-shot, so that's not happening. Sorry, readers!" Wade said, smiling.

[Awwwwwww.]

The boxes went quiet after that, so Wade was left to wait for breakfast in silence. When the food finally _did_ arrive, it took both Peter and Judy two trips to bring it all out and then they had to put an extra table by their booth so they could set the food somewhere.

"Thank you, Judy and Petey," Wade said sweetly. "I'm sure this is all going to be delicious."

Judy walked off with a small smile in Wade's direction. Wade shot her a wink and a playful smirk back.

"You ready to dig in, baby boy?" Wade asked.

"You know it, Wade." Peter replied with a grin.

And so they did. Peter ended up eating most of the pancakes, but Wade hoarded the Strawberries & Cream™ waffles. Everything else they split evenly, and by the time Wade got to the point where he was almost full, they were at the apple pie. Peter, on the other hand, looked like he could eat the same amount of food. Twice.

"Pie, Wade?" Peter asked with a grin.

"Ah, just a couple of slices, Petey. I'm about to burst." Wade chuckled.

They ate the last of the food in companionable silence, Wade sighing contentedly and resting his hands on his abdomen when he was done, leaning back to watch Peter finish.

There was still quite a bit of time before Peter's shift was over, but Judy's was always quiet — sadly, in Wade's opinion — which gave Peter some more time to work on classwork and Wade time to doodle the beautiful human in front of him, as well as enjoying his company.

Wade finished his sketch and put his notebook in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He set his arms on the table and rested his head on them, looking up at Peter. A soft smile graced his face, enjoying the sight of Peter focusing on his computer screen, gently biting his lower lip in determination. Peter's eyes followed each word, piling pages and pages of sciency talk into small font on Google Docs.

Finally, _finally_ , the clock hit noon and Peter's shift was done. He organized his binder — in the loosest sense of the term — and stood up, Wade following suit.

"You got classes now, baby boy, or are you going home?" Wade asked when they stepped outside.

"I gotta run home and change, but I have a lecture at 1:30." Peter said.

"Allow me to walk you home, good sir?" Wade held out his arm jokingly.

Peter hooked his arm through Wade's. "I suppose that you may. It's just a few blocks away."

"Lead the way, Petey-Pie!"

The two talked and laughed the few blocks to Peter's apartment, but Wade didn't miss the cautious glances Peter sent his way.

"Is something wrong, baby boy? Or is my face just _that_ beautiful?" Wade teased.

"Oh, s-sorry...It's-It's nothing," Peter said, ducking his flushed face. "Uh, this building here." He added, pointing to the tenement on their left.

 _Number 72, floor three. I'll remember that._ Wade thought as Peter roughly pushed open the door with his shoulder.

"I'm home, May!" He called, stepping into the cozy apartment.

"Oh, great! How was your — Who's this?" A woman with a few grey streaks in her long brown hair stepped out of the kitchen holding a spatula. Eyes somehow almost identical to Peter's sparkled behind large glasses.

Peter sighed, his face flushing slightly. "Aunt May, this is Wade...Wade, this is my aunt."

"The same aunt who taught you how to make those _heavenly_ waffles? Baby boy, you didn't tell me that she was almost as gorgeous as you, and that you lived with her!" Wade said, turning to Peter with a shocked look on his face.

"And _Peter_ didn't tell me that he got a boyfriend!" May responded with a grin.

"Ms. May, you flatter me, but Petey and I aren't officially together yet. I mean, unless you _want_ to," Wade raised his not-eyebrows and looked hopefully at Peter.

"Not in your wildest dreams, Wade." Peter replied with a smile, playfully shoving Wade's head away.

"Oh, Petey-Pie, my wildest dreams are filled with us being together. In more ways than one." Wade waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Peter just rolled his eyes with an amused smile. He meandered towards the back of the apartment. Wade followed eagerly.

"You wait here, I guess. I'll go change in the bathroom." Peter sighed.

Wade plopped himself on the bottom bunk of Peter's bed, scanning the room excitedly. Shooting a wary look at Wade, Peter snagged a pair of sweats and a t-shirt out of his closet and walked out of the room.

Wade shot up off of the bed and started looking through Peter's stuff. Textbooks and notebooks and loose papers on the desk along with various other school supplies. Well-read books and other storage on the top bunk, a secret hidey-hole in the ceiling — empty, except for a box labeled 'Ben' in a slightly untidy hand — and then the closet. Top shelf filled with various medals and awards, floor covered in beaten shoes of various sizes, and then the clothes. Sweats, Avengers t-shirts, a couple of Spider-Man jackets and shirts, a wifebeater for some reason, jeans — both ripped and not, Spidey Suit, dress clothes; wait. Spidey —

"DP, why are you rifling through my closet?" Peter asked. Wade turned around slowly, barely registering Peter's too-relaxed posture as he leaned against the doorframe.

Wade narrowed his eyes almost imperceptibly, tilting his head to the right slightly. "What did you call me, Peter?"

Peter's eyes widened and he stood up, away from the door. "I-I, uh, I called you Wade, didn't I? 'Cause that's — 'cause that's your name. That's what I said. Wade."

"No, you didn't. You called me DP. Spider-Man's the only one who _ever_ calls me that. So, I suppose it's safe to assume that this isn't just a cosplay?" Wade stepped aside to reveal the fabric suit that Peter got — and hadn't used since he went to space years ago when Tony gave him the Iron Spider suit — when he was fifteen.

Looking defeated, Peter let his arms fall to his sides. "Look, this isn't how I wanted you to find out—"

"But just when _was_ I going to find out? Were you just going to continue letting me think that the two people who I obviously care about very much weren't one and the same? Were you just never going to tell me? You found out my name, what I looked like — hell, I even gave you my phone number! — all in one day, and yet I was to believe that you were just _coworkers_? Whatever. I'm leaving. See you, Peter." Wade shoved past Peter in the small doorway to his room and walked out of the apartment, fuming.

**\- v -**

It'd been days, maybe even weeks, since Wade had found out that Spider-Man and Peter Parker were the same people. He wallowed in self-loathing and self-pity, drinking despite the inebriating substance having no effect. Wade ate to try and take his mind off of the web-slinging vigilante who he really was missing and trying to stay mad at. When his money ran out, Wade took a job. This cycle of self-uncare was awful, but Wade couldn't bring himself to break it.

{God dammit, Wade. Suck it up.}

[Grow a pair and go get your man.]

{He very obviously feels something for you! So how do you think he feels after you so rudely walked out on him?}

"Yeah, well, fuck both of you." Wade grumbled.

{Go. To. Your. Building.}

[He'll find you.]

Wade sighed heavily. He pulled himself up off the couch and slipped on his suit, sans katanas and guns.

**\- v -**

Wade waited for days on that building. Four, to be exact. Four days of pacing and thinking and listening to his boxes.

The sun had just gone down on the fourth day when Spider-Man arrived with his gentle, telltale _thud_.

"Hi, Spider-Man!" Deadpool said sarcastically, similar to Iron Man's greeting after the Coney Island Ferry Incident back in 2017.

"Zip it, Wade. Where the hell have you been the last two and a half weeks?!" Peter exclaimed.

Wade reached up and pulled his mask off, otherwise not moving from where he was lying spread-eagled on the roof. "Well, I mean, the last four days I've been here, and all the days before that I was at home." He flicked his eyes over to Peter, who had taken his mask off as well.

Wade stood up and faced Peter who, despite the height difference, was no less intimidating with the fiery anger burning in his usually soft brown eyes.

Peter stepped forward and punched Wade in the jaw. Hard. "That's," He said, punching him again, "For disappearing for weeks with no word from you at all." He shot a web, attaching it to Wade's chest and pulled him back towards Peter.

Gripping the leather of Deadpool's suit, Peter pulled him in for a rough kiss.

"And that's," Peter said when they broke apart, "For everything else."

Wade, slightly stunned from the sudden display of affection, said, "Didn't know you'd seen _How to Train Your Dragon_ , baby boy."

Peter chuckled. "Of course, I confess my undying love to you and all you pick out is the pop culture reference."

"Hey, hey, hey," Deadpool said quickly. "There was no confession here. Just you breaking my jaw and then kissing me while it was still healing!"

Peter laughed again an shook his head, leaning up for another quick kiss. "I love you, Wade. Is that what you need? I love you and I want to be with you, no matter how dysfunctional this relationship may be."

Wade smiled and tucked his head into Peter's neck, nuzzling him. "I...I think I actually love you too, Petey-Pie. I wanna be with you." Wade moved the hands resting at the base of Peter's spine a bit lower, groping his ass. " _Especially_ when I have such a strong motivator to stay on your good side."

In one fluid motion, Spider-Man pulled Wade's hands off and Judo flipped him over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes.

Standing over wade with a grin, Peter wagged his finger at Wade. "Ah, ah, ah, Wadey. You said it yourself; no sexy funtimes until the third date! You still have two more dates to take me on."

"Gladly, Petey-Pie! Can we do our second date at my place? _Golden Girls_ and junk food and booze marathon?"

Peter held out his hand to help Wade up. "I thought you'd never ask."

**\- THE v END -**


End file.
